Wriggly Rex is a novel about the funniest Senate candidate who ever battled a strait-laced young staffer, a bare-knuckled opponent, and Old Beelzebub—all at once: an alcoholic lecher or a lecherous alcoholic, depending on his company and the time of day.

Idealistic young aide Ernst Funck thinks that electing a conservative is a dream job. But nothing could have prepared him for Rex’s string of embarrassing disasters.

When Rex holds a drunken press conference to roast his supporters and the press, Ernst realizes that he can’t win the election without controlling Rex.

Buck Cheatem, the oil millionaire who funded Rex’s campaign, wants his money back if Rex loses. Freddy Farnarkler, the conservative think tanker, wants a deeper relationship (don’t ask.) The Rat Squad makes an evil appearance.

Bunny, the office manager, is an equal-opportunity destroyer—riding her wheel-chair like a battle chariot. Porky, the campaign strategist, makes Ernst a rival. Rex’s wife Blanche and girlfriend Angel both work in the campaign, as if Ernst needed another problem.

Will Ernst pull out a win in spite of Rex? Or will he have to find that witness protection program for losing campaign staffers? Their final confrontation provides the answer.

Why I Wrote Wriggly Rex

If hypocrisy is the funniest behavior, then politicians who campaign publicly on values they betray privately are the funniest  natural comedians. “Wriggly Rex” Wrigley is a study in hypocrisy, “With affection beaming in one eye and calculation shining out of the other,” as Dickens put it.

The story viewpoint is of Ernst, an idealistic young Midwesterner, who tries to reconcile Barry Goldwater’s  Conscience of a Conservative with the real world of politics. He joins a self-serving politician in a preposterous crusade. He meets a free market entrepreneur and his captive think-tank philosopher who want to roll back democracy.

Rex’s campaign captures cynical religious support from fundamentalists who scorn Rex’s private behavior. “Campaign strategists” overwhelm real issues with fabricated smears and money. And Rex’s opponents, who believe that “God helps those who help themselves,” supply snares and traps.

As the author, I found that the characters expressed their personalities in completely unexpected ways. Wheelchair-bound Bunny and Rex’s long-suffering wife Blanche were two of my favorites. I could never keep them under control.

I loved writing about Rex, the self-serving hypocrite, and the other characters trapped with him in his world. Political hypocrites have an endless capacity for fooling themselves. I hope Wriggly Rex gives readers a few more tools to keep from being fooled.

But of course this book is a work of fiction, and the characters bear no resemblance to actual politicians, who are much worse.